Blue Ribbon Winner!!!

I won the chili contest at our association last night!!!! It was a fun night. We met some nice people and next month they are having an Octoberfest party. My chili was a huge hit and everyone wanted my recipe, only I couldn't give it to them because this is how I made it....

Started at 8am while Brian watches football. Took cheap meat that Brian bought at Costco that was too fatty for us to use for anything. He had totally chopped it apart a couple weeks ago to remove the main pieces of fat and it was in chunks too small for steaks or anything useful. Cut meat into smaller pieces, coat meat with flour, chili powder, salt and pepper. Brown meat in olive oil in batches with onions. Deglaze with a bottle of sam adams beer. Add a big can of diced tomates, a small can of tomatoes with chilis, a big can of chili beans. Add chili powder (have no idea how much), add cumin until you run out and then start having to grind up cumin seeds in magic bullet. Taste chili and realize it tastes horrible. Go out to store to buy tomato paste. Stop at library to pick up book on hold. Get sucked into watching cooking demonstration at the library for an hour, look for books, realize you've been gone for 2 hours. Rush home to find the chili burned on bottom. Scrape up burned bits and convince yourself that it adds flavor. Add tomato paste. Realize that now the meat ratio is wrong and needs more meat. Repeat browning and deglazing process and add to pot. Heat up and realize, now its too pastey with all the flour from the meat. Add tomato paste thinking it will make it taste like tomato again. Heat up and realize that now it is a pastey goo. Carefully skim off the top four cups of pastey goo. Add last can of diced tomatoes in the house. Add a couple tablespoons of sugar, some salt. Taste and realize there is no kick. Have Brian add red pepper flakes when I'm not looking. Throw in some chipotle red pepper seasoning I found in cabinet. Tell Brian that my chili is embarrassing and that I'm not bringing it to the competition. Brian convinces you to bring chili since you've been working on it all day (now its 6pm). Bring chili in my red ceramic dish and get there and everyone else has theirs set up in crock pots all plugged in keeping them hot. After an hour, they yell out, who has the red dish. Think that someone broke your red dish.....accept your first place blue ribbon. Make new friends.

Come home and clean the kitchen that looks like a disaster!